AUSTRALIA!!!!!!

The flight to Darwin was uneventful. We arrived bleary eyed at about 7am local time on the 2nd of November, breezed through customs without hassle apart from a matronly looking woman - like a granmothered version of Dr. Doolittle who was very concerned about any foodstuffs being brought into the Northern Territory. I told her I had nothing to declare but the contents of my stomach, and that she'd have to kick me very hard in the nether regions for any kind of a close inspection.

We had a few hours to kill in the airport, a tiny non-descript warehouse of boredom and nothingness. I occuppied myself by perusing the morning papers which were full of excitement about the upcoming Melbourne Cup, the financial crisis of course, Rupert Murdock's series of lectures he was giving in the Opera House in Sydney, and a few great tabloid shock horror stories about killer crocs. Welcome to Australia. Dylan Moran has a fairly specific take on the place - I think its worth quoting him in full:

"It's a totally inhospitable place, you shouldn't be here, the sun, you live about three quarters of a mile from it, I've seen insects walking around with kneepads, you fling yourselves into the sea when you're not actually walking around audibly crackling in the heat and the sea is full of things designed exclusively to kill you, sharks, jellyfish, swimming knives, they're all there. But yet you persist in living here. So you know, its a jail, you live in, it's lovely, you've done wonderful things with it, but you're all still in denial"

The first time I heard that I actually really wanted to come here. When you grow up in a place where the only really exciting wild animals were reputedly exiled by your patron saint, you sort of begin to crave a bit of exoticism don't you? Crocodiles the size of milk vans, big great whites lurking in the bays, redback spiders hiding in your shoes waiting to venomise you, the top three most dangerous snakes in the world - all in one country - one continent for Christsake!! I was delighting in winding Sarah up about all of this of course..haha.

The short hop down to Sydney was again, a dreary affair. Crap food, fake smiles, recycled air, hassle, waiting around, trying to guess the age/occupation/sexual persuasion of all your fellow passengers from their shoes and carry on luggage.

We were surprised at the gate at Sydney Airport by Jim and Lorraine - Sarah's uncle and his partner. We knew that they were coming to meet us, but hadn't expected to see them until we had our luggage collected. Jim has been in Oz since the early 80's, and it was great to have two smiling and welcoming faces to greet us and drive us into the city. Jim had very (very) kindly booked us into a hotel in the CBD and they dropped us off there.

The Menzies on Carrington St is an old but refined hotel. The lobby smells like fresh aftershave, most nights there's a live pianist in the bar, there is a gym and pool and we were placed in a position call it home for the next 6 nights courtesy of a couple I had hardly met before. I was liking Oz already.

So we settled in and wandered out into the city towards the Rocks - the now commercialised quarter of what was the sight of the initial city settlement, perched on a natural elevation and blessed with view of that spectacular harbour. It was cold, so cold in fact there was a danger that our first brandishing of dollars in anger was to be to purchase wooly jumpers! The horror! We couldn't stomach it, so walked around fresh off the 'boat' in our bermuda shorts with vacant grins. After catching our first glimpse of the Opera House we retreated to the comfort of the hotel. Later a brief ramble to the nearest bar for a drink proved a mistake - a heaving Irish bar full of leprechauns jigging around to some gobshite in a Kilkenny jersey knocking out bad Snow Patrol covers - we could easily have been anywhere at home, so we lorried our overpriced drinks and ran out pronto.

Next morning, (or mid afternoon in fairness - jetlag) we found an internet cafe and did some research on potential employment. Being suddenly surrounded by scurrying and frowning drones in suits put the fear of God in me. "Christ I have to get a job at some stage - I better get me CV together". I soon came to my senses and got the hell out of there (after sending off a few applications I must admit!).

Afterwards we got in touch with an old housemate of mine, Colin, who was living up on Dee Why Beach in the northern suburbs. We arranged to meet at Manly and caught the ferry from Circular Quay as dusk was settling on the harbour. Now I've seen some views before, but this was truly special. The great looming bridge to our left, the Opera House like a giant series of sea shells perched on the shoreline to our right.

Colin greeted us with a satisfied smile that said a lot about his experiences in the year since I had said goodbye to him and wished him luck outside our house in Raheny. He has surfed and snowboarded his way around the globe, and if you know Col, and could believe it, was even more laid back and relaxed than I had known him before! It was great to see him and we grabbed some food and a few pints in the Manly Boatshed over a few games of pool before catching the last ferry back to the city. It felt fantastic to see the harbour at night - the glassy water reflecting the city lights, the excitement of our year to come. New city, new jobs, new friends, new life.

Up late again the following morning and I made some use of the hotel gym before heading out and catching a bus to Bondi Beach. It was Melbourne Cup day and we sidled into a bar on the beach front to watch 'Viewed' win the race. We had planned to do the 10k coastal walk south along the cliffs to Coogee Beach and set off in mid afternoon. We were impressed by the suburbs en route, and the beaches with surf clubs, some dating from the early 1900's reassured us of a well established culture of beach bum-dom!! Through the Waverly Cemetary - a stark visual reminder of the sheer amount of Irish who have passed through and along (and indeed on) in the city.

After about 2 hours we reached Coogee. The wind had picked up from a bluster to a toupee remover, so we hopped a bus back to the CBD.

Over the following days we explored a bit more taking in a tour of the Opera House, a good stroll around the magnificent botanical gardens that lie just adjacent to it and pints in the only 'real' pub we could find in the city (Harts in The Rocks). The Australain Hotel around the corner from this place definitely deserves a mention - great pub grub and a huge selection of bottled and draft beers. Sarah was getting back into her wine with gusto - it had been nigh impossible to find decent (reasonably priced) wine in SE Asia and she was suffering withdrawal! Darling Harbour,lined with bars and restaraunts also got a visit, as did the Museum of Contemporary Art on the harbour front. We did a fair bit of walking along the parallel George and Pitt streets that bisect the CBD too to get a feel for the place.

Jim had agreed to give us a hand in buying a car for our impending road trip - its damn difficult to pick up a car without a car in the first place! In one morning, after plenty of research, we called into your stereotypical dodgy second hand car salesman ('Sydney Car King' - be warned future backpackers he's slippery as a very slippy eel) and bought that quintessential of Ozzy road trip vehicles - a hulking white '95 Holden Commodore. Its big enough to sleep in, if it ever comes to it!

We had checked out of the luxury accommodation, loaded the car and drove the 40km through the city to Manly where we stayed in a kip of a hostel (Manly Beach Backpackers) for a few days. Back to earth with a bang!! Manly is fairly quiet, but a beautiful spot nonetheless. I could easily live there. The main street - the 'Corso' is curbed at either end by the sea - the sprawling Manly Beach at one end, and the pier at the other. That night we caught a bus up to Dee Why for a BBQ with Colin in the apartment he shares with his sister. We watched some of the Rugby League World Cup before grabbing a lift back with some of Col's mates to Manly.

On the following afternoon, a Sunday, Jim and Lorraine picked us up from the hostel and we drove to Neutral Bay. It was Sarah's birthday, so we celebrated with a BBQ in Oaks Bar there, a spot of some history for our hosts. The beer garden is dominated by a huge oak tree. The atmosphere was great and as the sun dappled through those leaves and onto our table and we got stuck into our steaks and barramundi over a few bevvies I thought to myself, this is a bit of alright.

From there we drove to a decommissioned military base, Cobblers Beach Reserve at Middle Head. From the top of the old gun emplacements there is a great view out between the headlands and into the open ocean. Then on to Balmoral Beach, a beautiful cove that is bisected by a small headland, for a few drinks at the Bathers Pavillion. It was a great way to spend Sarah's birthday, and we both really enjoyed the company and sights. We rounded off the day ourselves with dinner in a BYO restaurant on the Corso back in Manly.

The following morning I found the saltwater pool at the end of the beach front and did a few lengths before reading on the beach for a few hours. Sarah had taken the morning ferry back into the city to get her hair cut, so I had the afternoon to myself. I wandered up the main street, grabbed some lunch and ate it on the pier end, at the quieter beach along Fairlight Walk. I strolled up the walkway from there, found a few cosy spots with benches and read again until I saw Sarah's boat chugging around the headland and into the pier. Back from her retail therapy/ makeover she was in great form and we had dinner in Cafe Brisa another 'bring your own' - (booze that is!). Colin joined us again, and we had a few farewell beers in the Boatshed and Ivanhoe's. The big road trip was to begin the following morning, and I fell asleep with that indescribable contentness that accompanies thoughts of the open road ahead.

Singapore Oct 29th - Nov 1st

We flew into Singapore in the early hours of the morning. A fellow Naas head who happened to be living in Singapore had invited us to stay. The fact it was organised only days before and completely unexpected meant it was all the sweeter to arrive and have a bed in a comfy apartment for a few nights. Brian's place is in Keppel Harbour and absolutely fab, the first thing the three of us did was put on the kettle and have a cuppa - jaysus the sight of a kettle was enough to nearly bring a tear to my eye, ha!

The following morning after an excessive sleep J and I managed to extract ourselves from the comforts of home living and head out and explore the city. As we could practically jump onto the cable car going over to Sentosa from our bedroom window on the 16th floor it seemed a natural place to start. It's an exhilarating ride across the harbour, looking down on all the huge ships below is enough to make the heart flutter. Sentosa island is a touristy spot. We spent most of the afternoon there, we took a luge down towards the beaches, that was good craic for all of 20 seconds. Silosa Beach is the most noteworthy, very cool bars with four posterbeds on the beach and small pools. We managed to resist, with only three days in the city we didn't want to spend one on a beach.

We visited the aquarium which is excellent and we were like two school kids pointing out and naming all the fish we'd learned about and seen whilst diving on days before. Some of the tanks had sharks and there was actually a diver in one such tank feeding them - nutcase. A travellator carried us below an underwater tunnel with all the sharks and fish swimming above your head,very cool.

We got swept up with a group of school kids coming out of the aquarium and ended up on a bus to a dolpin show nearby. The two of us huddled up amongst all the five year olds to watch the aquatic display with amusement. We took a cable chair back up from the beach, more scary than the flippin' cable car, with our dangling legs brushing off the tree tops! From there it was onto Mount Faber by cable car to catch a view over the city and Keppel Harbour.

Singapore is a squeaky clean, super efficient city. I really liked it, the right mix of Asian and Western influences, it does have an Asian feel but far cleaner than any of the ones we had visited. We took the metro over to the Indian Quarter and strolled from there onto the Arab Quarter. We had dinner in a nice spot near the 'Gateway' which are two buldings in the CBD that look like two razor blades.

There is some very cool architecture in Singapore. It's not a bustly place though like other big cities. There weren't many people wandering about the streets, as you would expect in a big city, it did feel like something was amiss. The nightlife however was the opposite, Clarke's Quay was jampacked - I can't remember the last time I've queued for a taxi after a night out.

On Friday we followed the old Colonial Loop around the city. This took in the Merlion on the waterfront, a national symbol. We strolled past the Esplanade (cricket grounds) towards Raffles Hotel. It's a beautiful old building, but just as pretentious and over-priced as you would imagine, I felt like a frickin' hippy wandering around!

We had lunch along Boat Quay nearby, string of restaurants that hug the quayside and allow you a great view as you eat. More walking ........ brought us to Oxford street, with a detour through Fort Canning Park. Legs about to fall of we caught the metro 'home.'

Brian's luxurious spot has a 50 metre swimming pool which we splashed around in for awhile before heading out on the town - Halloween night! Brian took us to the vibrant Clarke's Quay, a very cool spot with funky, colourful buildings housing bars, restaurants and clubs. We spent the night there, even the outside parts are air-conditioned! The place was hoppin' with people. We had a drink in one bar called 'The Clinic', it had wheelchairs for chairs, and you can buy your drinks on drips which are wheeled over to you. It's a bizaare sight at first glance to see a bunch of people sitting around on hospital beds and wheelchairs drinking some sort of rocket fuel from a drip, obviously most people saw the funny side as it was almost impossible to get a seat. We did a pub crawl to a few other spots, all heaving with people and a great atmosphere.

The following morning feeling a little rough around the edges Brian brought us for the best fry up we've had in awhile. We also got one of the best views in the city from his office on the 57th floor of a skyscraper. I don't know how he gets any work done. The views over Singapore port are fantastic, ships as far as the eye can see.

We spent the afternoon at Singapores Seven's Rugby tournament on the Esplanade, tough day all round as you an imagine. Cute Asian girls were wandering around with no apparent purpose, other than to carry giant inflatable rugby balls and giant inflatable sheep?! I have a picture of two giggly boys with the aforementioned. After all that excitement it was back to Brian's to pack for AUSTRALIA!!!! Woohoo!

Thailand - again!

We opted for the cheaper night bus to Bangkok from Vientiene. It cost $20 each, which included a meal. The problem with these night buses to the Thai capital is that they inevitably drop you off somewhere near Khao San Rd at some ungodly hour when all but the most desperate prostitutes and drunken leering farang's (Westerners) are hanging around. I've detailed my disgust with Khao San before - on my travels to find somehere to sleep I was offered sex 8 times. There's no subtlety, no humour about it, just a cold plea for a transaction. Eventually we found a nondescript but relatively clean room (apart from an ecstasy tab and condom wrapper under bed).

I arranged another night bus/boat combo down to Koh Tao and slept until we checked out again at 11am. The bus wasn't to leave until 6pm so we hopped in a tuk tuk and made it to Siam Square. I sat in a Starbucks catching up with the papers (and the details of the PAD protests that were ongoing only a few kilometers from my comfy seat) and reading Stephen Fry's autobiography (brilliant) for a few hours while S shopped.

I also hatched a future business plan for a chain of cafe/bars situated in shopping centres called 'Mansitters'. This wee establishment will offer the poor misguided and bullied spouse/boyfriend of credit card toting shopaholics a welcome alternative to following his partner on a leash through the Next's/ M&S's/Coast's/other nightmarish moneyholes of this world. It will have large screens with live sports, a bookie and booze licence, all the days papers and business magazines, wireless internet access, and sister taxi company called 'Manshifters' which can ferry bubbly hubby home if he chooses to get too pissed to drive. Oh and X-Boxes....and sexy waitresses. It will in fact be such a draw that the lads will be dragging the girls to fecking Liffey Valley for the Sunday afternoon ritualised torture. This is all detailed in the contents of a registered post envelope to Mr J T Morrin, Fishery Lane, Naas by the by -so any potential copycats beware. Any potential investors however are most welcome!(;

The bus southward was more comfortable than our previous one, and we managed some sleep before at 3am being dropped off at Chumphon. I couldn't sleep, so got stuck into the book again lying on a bench at the dockfront until the boat left at 8am. I popped some seasick tablets, which are glorified sleeping pills and slipped into the semi coma that is drug induced slumber. I woke up in time to the majestic site of Koh Tao getting incrementally bigger on the horizon. The water was so blue, I wanted to jump in immediately and swim the rest of the way, but then remembered the sharks..God it was good to be back here though. True island paradise.

The minute we landed onto the marina it started to rain. Shitecakes. We settled on Bans Diving Resort - I wasn't leaving here this time without my PADI, and Bans seemed like a good option. If you register to do a dive course you can get hefty discounts on accommodation, so we signed up immediately. That evening we did a bit of classroom stuff... 'remember to breathe under water now' ...'don't give the fingers to a shark if you see one' etc etc all that kind of revalating stuff. The rakish Swedish fella who was to be our instructor for the next four days cried off with a flu, and just as we were finishing watching the drivel that is the PADI dvd, in bounded a floppy haired Brit introducing himself as Guy. I was fairly sure he had been an extra in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves at some point...but he was very friendly and seemed to know what he was on about.

An early start the next morning and into the pool to get the hang of the gear. Our group was nice and small - just five of us with Guy - a German couple and a Yank. The pool was fun - the sensation of having the tank and weights on is great, you can just hang out at the bottom making obscene gestures to each other (no sharks yet) and well..remembering to breathe of course. A two hour session in the classroom after breaking for lunch, and we were sufficiently wrecked to have a fish dinner and call it a day.

The next two days were fantastic. The weather had continued to reside in the realms of total shite, and the view on the choppy speedboat ride to the dive boat was of sheet lightning off the coast. Not great on the already jittery nerves. Our first sea dive at was to about 12m just to get used to the environment and the equipment. We went through a series of basic skills (clearing masks, hovering, safety ascents etc). I loved it. After an hour out of the water to decompress our second dive was to 18m. We saw a big titan triger fish, some blue ringed angel fish and a blue spotted stingray. I was in heaven, like a big kid in a sweet shop pointing and gurlging and exclaiming to no one but myself about all this wildlife.

Sarah was characteristically shitting herself about the prospect of seeing sharks. Guy was brilliant, and gave a masterclass in that most elusive art of "calming Sarah down" or CSD for short. Fears of mask filling, blood thirsty sharks/barracuda/rare sub aqua giant mosquito's biting and decompression sickness were all dispelled with a magic shrug of the shoulder and toothy grin. 'It'll be fiiiiiiine' (winks to me). Genius. Wouldn't have happened without him.
The next day was our last of the open water course and consisted of two more dives to 18m. Unfortunatley the visibility wasn't that great, but I still loved every minute. The highlight for me was hanging out over the nest of a Clarks anemonefish - watching the parents in their brilliant yellow black and white birthday suits challenge us in little forayed darts. Little agressive Nemo's!

We enjoyed these few days so much, and seeing as the weather continued to be drizzly and overcast which ruled out beach activity (that should be inactivity in fairness..!)we decided to do the 2 day advanced course which started bright and early the next morning and consisted of five more dives. The first two were a multilevel dive concentrated on getting the hang of ascending and descending to depths of up to 30m safely, spotting a few moray eels, puffer fish and trigger fish en route. Then the navigation dive, which I was fairly nervous about - it's daunting to be let off on your own after having just gotten used to following an instructor around! You are given a dive computer and a compass, both strapped to your wrist, a map and a few basic instructions. We saw a 5 foot barracuda and what looked like the outline of a bull shark after only a few minutes down there - had to do a quick CSD session there!

Sarah was suffering from a rare ailment for divers - the pain of trapped air in a tooth expanding upon ascent. God love her she was in bits after the second dive. With a bit of cajoling, a few cups of tea and promises of medals of valour she bravely got into the water the next day for our remaining three dives. The first two of these were off Chumphon Pinnacle - a scattering of large rocks about 4km to the north of Sairee Beach. The current was very strong at the surface, and it was a bit of a struggle to make our way down the guide rope to a calmer depth. We undertook these on our own - no instructor (although he was in the water for some of it). The second dive was a 40 minute fish identification dive.

The highlight of the whole PADI experience awaited us that night though. We chugged back to Sairee Beach for about 4pm, with just enough time to rinse the gear and grab a bite to eat before heading out to White Rocks for the final dive - the night dive. Equipped with torches and shitting ourselves in the twilight of dusk, a couple of kilometres off the coast, like flippin navy seals we jumped into the still bath like 30 degree water and kicked until exhasted against the current to get to the guide rope which was the length of two boats away.

Pausing for a quick breather and after a couple of final instructions on how to use the torches (mine kept knocking off by itself! nightmare!) we slowly slipped into the murky darkness. After adjusting to the light I found it surprisingly relaxing. Generally I don't have a fear of enclosed spaces (like Sarah) and tend to feel more comfortable and almost cozy in them. I've always felt safe and comfortable in thick forests for example, whereas to Sarah that density and sense of being surrounded gives rise to an uncertainty over what is lurking in all those spaces you can't see, and ultimately a panicked fear.

We all stuck close together though and Guy was soon flashing an extra strong light at poor unsuspecting reef fish in the hope of luring a barracuda out for an easy meal. Sure enough within a couple of minutes we had attracted a few 5-6 foot chevron barracuda's who were delighted to have their usually elusive dinner lit up and stunned for them.

The next target would be chosen and illuminated, unsuspectingly sunning itself in the electrolight..and then ...WAMMO - all you saw were those big barracuda jaws and a glassy eye - then dark nothingness and the cacophony of ecstatic giggling from us as Guy flicked and twirled the torches like aquatic six-shooters with glee. We had spoken about the bioluminescence during our briefing on the boat.

The tiny micro organisms that meant nothing to us on the daylight dives were now a sourse of supreme amusement. We turned all the lights off, hovered quietly for a few moments and then started swirling our hands and fingers through the water. Like cartoonesque wizards with sparks flying off our fingers we thrashed about with unbridled joy - it was amazing, an experience I will never forget. One of those memories I have stored away in a box in the back of my head to take out on some pissy Tuesday morning in February in the future when I'm stuck in a damp office somewhere in Dublin when I'll need it to keep my sanity!

So the course had ended, and it was time to party. We drank in the bar at Bans until the wee hours with all our new mates congratulating each other on our 'heroics'. Our flight to Singapore left us with three days to kill on the island, which we relished as our last in the sleepiness of the island. We rented a scooter and hit of few of the northern beaches one day, finding a bar with an infinity pool by the beachfront.

The diving experience has been one of the most worthwhile of our time in SE Asia I think, and we will both be keen to do as much of it as possible in the future.

To paraphrase Josh Ritter, you know something's perfect when you have to leave. We packed our bulging bags, clung to the back of a truck that bumped its way to the harbour front, and caught the ferry to Koh Samui, the location of the most chilled out airport on the planet. From there we flew to Bangkok and caught our connecting flight to what Paul Theroux calls the "social bubble" - Singapore.